- Mazurka, Mexico City
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Categories: Como conocer gente villanueva del campo. All those Mom blogs tell us to cherish each and every moment with our littles. It is true, my children are growing at an alarming rate and I want to soak up every sticky, paint covered messy moment with them. Guilt is a terrible thing and it is something that we all battle with on an almost daily basis. As an expat, I feel crippling guilt pretty much all the time. I know that sounds dramatic and maybe I do have a penchant for hyperbole but I really do struggle with guilt.
When I moved here I felt guilty that I missed out on birthdays and Christmases and other things that were important to the ones I loved. But nothing compares to mom guilt. But you know what? No matter what you do you will still feel guilty because as a mum we are constantly bombarded with images of perfect families and blogs with perfectly put together houses and women who have it all together. I bet these women need five minutes now and then. We all do. You are important, remember that.
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The sun rising above a dew covered field, the sound of cows mooing and roosters crowing, your children sitting around a scrubbed pine table. Living and working on a farm is tough and time consuming and it really is a way of life. It is like the third person in your marriage, the thing that is constantly in the back of your mind and can be the main strain on your finances.
Have you researched your industry? There is a lot of red tape when it comes to selling meat in Ontario. Is there truly a demand for your product? This was the biggest issue for me as a city girl. It is likely that you will have to move very far away from the city and perhaps your family in order to afford a plot big enough to carve out some type of living. If only one spouse is farming then the other is left alone for long periods of time and this can put a strain on even the strongest of marriages.
Being a harvest widow is no joke! I genuinely think it would be easier if both partners were to work side by side which puts another set of strain on a marriage I guess! I have always felt a little removed from the farm and like it is a very separate sphere that belongs to my husband and I sort of slot in alongside it.
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Things break, animals die, people need your services around the clock. If you want a set schedule then this lifestyle is not for you. However, there is some degree of flexibility when there is rain or if your operation is big enough to have multiple employees. It is hard to plan your life around the farm and it is definitely something I myself am learning albeit a little unsuccessfully sometimes to be gracious about.
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Farming is a money pit. The reality is that big farms are getting bigger and small farms are struggling to get a slice of the pie. You will need a lot of money for your start up and will probably have to look at a dwindling bank account until your farm gets established. This is hard for many people to deal with and is the leading reason why so many throw in the towel after such a short period of time.
Farming offers many opportunities for a wonderful life. You can be your own boss, work outdoors in the fresh air and see the literal fruits of your labour. If you do well then the reward is handsome and some farmers are lucky enough to sell their farms to developers for a significant wad of cash. Your family can be self sufficient and live a wonderful life away from the hustle and bustle of the city. My children love playing at the farm and going for tractor rides, it really is the best place to grow up.
But farming is grueling and embeds itself deep in your soul. My husband is a third generation farmer and his day to day life on the farm is still full of problems and complications despite being pretty established in our community. I know that market prices of livestock and crops play on his mind a lot. I moved from the city in Wales to the country in Ontario and for me the biggest adjustment was spending so much time alone on the farm. It got so much for me that we moved into a small rural town so I could at least see another human on a daily basis. Lately I have been looking at farms in Wales and trying to feel out whether my husband would be game to try.
Now if someone who has done well and has the expertise necessary thinks this way then maybe starting a farm is not a decision that should be taken lightly. I hope to see you at the farmers market in your flat cap in the summer! Do coloured Christmas lights and tinsel the proper kind, not that lamenta shite.
If you know what lamenta is extra points adorn your tree? Are your cupboards stocked with minced pies? Is Christmas Eve best spent in the pub with your mates resulting in the cruel and unusual punishment of having a hangover with young children on Christmas morning?
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Do you like sprouts? If you spend a lot of your Christmas explaining these things to others, you are probably a British expat. So fellow Brits, what am I missing? What do you yearn for the most at Christmas?
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Other expats join in, what do you miss? It was back again, homesickness. I moved to Canada almost a decade ago after meeting my husband on a trip in Australia. My husband tried unsuccessfully to move to Wales shortly after we met but the recession and lack of agricultural opportunities meant that he quickly ran out of money and patience from sitting in our flat all day with no car and no where to go. So I stepped up and offered to move to Canada to allow him to return to his dream job farming as I was a bright eyed 23 year old who was eager for adventure and a way out of the omnipresent rain that plagued Wales.
So I booked my ticket, got my working holiday visa and after a tearful farewell at Heathrow to my mum I boarded my flight to Canada, not really believing that I would truly become an expat. When I got to Canada it was the blazing heat of summer and I had a wonderful century farm house to decorate as I pleased. My husband got me a puggle puppy we named Darwin after where we met and I quickly got a job at a local gym where I met a few friends to keep me occupied. We got engaged a few months later and married less than a year after that.
After returning from honeymoon I eagerly applied for my permanent residency and was excited at the life that lay ahead in Canada. I got my PR permanent resident status fairly quickly and decided it was time to set down some roots and a career.
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I decided to head to teachers college and after a few years I got a permanent contract. Honestly, on paper everything is perfect. It has been a decade and it is still as strong as when I first came here at times and it takes me by surprise. Another thing I have struggled with intermittently is finding purpose in my new life. So hang in there expat wives, mums and dads. It is a hard journey and maybe not the life you always wanted in some respects but you can do it.
Try to remember why you moved to your current country and at the same time honour and celebrate your roots.